Saturday, April 7, 2012

Big Mouth Tendencies.

It's been 16 hours, since the day began and already I had one of those days that just cross all the limitations of being embarrassing.

Take your worst day ever.
 And then sugarcoat it with  newly-out-of-law-school chauvinistic men who are incredibly talented in scowling and making patronising expressions- it becomes a dish that is only fit to be flushed down the toilet.
After that, introduce me into the scene.
It's a recipe for the dead.

I don't know exactly when it was that I evolved a gene inside me that is called "I don't care if I don't know shit, I'm gonna raise my hand to answer anyway".
Maybe it was in the third grade when I realized that I liked talking. Or maybe it was in the 6th grade when I realized that when I raised my hand, I got plenty of attention. Or maybe in high school when I realized that I couldn't keep my mouth shut.
I don't know what was it inside me. But if you were in the same class as mine from 2nd grade through last year of school, you would see me raising my hand to answer everything.



2nd grade-

"What are igloos?"
I raise my hand.
"BIRDS!"


3rd grade-

"What is 12X12?"
"Yes, Remya?"
"132!"

4th grade-

"What is the capital of Uganda?"
I raise my hand.
"Yes?"
"Sydney!"


5th grade-
"Which battle compelled ashoka to change his views about life?
"Mahabharatha!"
"What! Mahabharatha is an epic."
"OH SORRY! I meant the battle of Ramayana!"

6th grade-
"So children, this chapter about Niagra falls is wonderful! Has anybody ever been there?"
"ME!"

7th grade-
"So I would like the name of all the CIS countries. Anybody?"
"Ukraine... Tajikistan... Russia-"
"Please raise your ha-"
"OH YES! UZBEKISTAN... Kazakhstan... Belarus...Georgi-"
"Remya! Raise your hand before answering!"
"Shh! Wait! Azerbaijan.. Afghanistan... Mongolia oh sorry cross that- It's Moldova...Ummmm.."
"Okay that's fine. Anybody else want to-"
"OH WAIT WAIT! Criggistan..Turkistan..Turkey...Armenia.. Romania.."
"I think that's wrong.. There are only twelv-"
"NO! NO! Wait. I got it! The last one- Pakistan!"

Anybody offended with the last portion would be glad to know that I successfully know that Pakistan, Afghanistan and Romania are not a part of CIS. And I've also realized that there isn't any country called "Criggistan or Turkistan." I meant Turkmenistan and Kyrgyzstan.


9th grade-

"Goodmorning. I hope you're ready for your practical examination. What is an opperculum?"
"Huh?"
"What is an opperculum?"
"This is not in the syllabus."
"It is. I told you to read the book thoroughly."
" I DID! YOU CAN ASK ME WHICH PAGE EACH INFO BELONGS TO BUT THIS IS NOT IN THE SYLLABUS! Let's go to the principal."
No need to explain how that conversation went

10th grade-
"Hello! We have a new student in the class! Beta, stand up and introduce yourself?"
"I know! I know!"
"Yes, we know that you know Remya. But I'm asking him."
"But-"
"I'm asking him."
"But his name is XYZ, he's come from ABC school and he likes to blahblahblahblah,."
"Rem-!"
"BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH.,..."


Geography class in the 12th grade.

"Can anybody tell me the main mountain ranges of Europe?"
"Alps.. Carpathian....and uh....Alps..Er. Yep. that's it.That'd be three of the main ones."


Anyway, so I hope you got the gist.
The situation came into my notice when one of my friends randomly remarked that all I needed was bushy hair, british accent, and a letter from hogwarts. They'd call me Granger there.

So today, as I sat in my legal class, probably having the worst effing day ever, Calling out all the wrong answers, being spoken to condescendingly by that arse of a legal apt. teacher and and generally having woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

After getting 5 questions consecutively wrong, in a class where nobody answered, sat silently and gazed at me- the alien that never gave up. I closed my eyes. Put my hands on my head and decided to shut the hell up.

And then came the next question. "Anybody know why Article 12 is kept under Fundamental Rights?"
Silence.
"Anybody?"
Oh God the guess was killing me. It got stuck in my oesophagus and tried to struggle. I clenched my teeth. No way, I did not know the answer. There was no need to make a fool out of me again.

"Why is everybody silent?"
Silence.
"Anybody?"

The answer slowly clawed its way up... I knew it was the wrong answer. And I breathed deep trying to keep it in.

"Anybody? Come on CLASS!"
No. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't.

And then I succumbed-
"BECAUSE WE NEED TO HAVE A CLEAR IDEA OF THE FUNDAMENTAL MAKE UP OF A STATE BEFORE DECLARING THE CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS FOR A CITIZEN!"

He made a disgusted face, raised an eyebrow and said what I had been dreading all along-

 " What the hell? That is totally wrong"


At that precise moment, all my internal organs declared a strike in a bid to get my big mouth ousted from my body while my brain controlled it from shouting the following words to my legal aptitude teacher- " Listen you fuck up. You're a teacher and you're supposed to encourage answers- even the wrong ones. So do your job."

But I knew that I'd eventually scream the words out.So I stood up in a jolt. People stared at my sudden movement. Said "Thank you sir. But I need to go." while everyone started snickering around me. And I ran out of the room.

Later, I realized, maybe that tiny irritating part that never shuts up is what would get me far or really screw my life. Till that happens, you're allowed your opinions and I'm allowed to answer all the wrong things.



There is a slang in hindi called "Chawd" [Pronounced as ch(ch from chopsticks)-awe-d(from hid)]. Basically in popular dictionaries it means the guts to do anything without much care about anything else.
I guess that's what this is . - Chawd.









5 comments:

Priyanka Banerjee said...

Ahh I guess its both ways right? Sometimes you regret speaking out and sometimes you regret keeping quiet!

nil said...

But then you had a bunch of right answers, too. Ask me. I had to go through the questioning looks when I sat clueless right next to you for 4 years.
Um.

:| :]

Anonymous said...

atleast you should have written the right answers to the question asked by ur teaches in a bracket below the wrong answer.. i had to google them still couldnt find all of them.
;-)

The Me. said...

And then there are people like me, who never volunteer to anwer in class, even if they know what it is. -___-

Remya said...

@Priyanka- Yep.. couldn't have framed it better :)

@Nil- Ah, darling it's all a game of probability. Something HAD to be right ;)

@Anon- Really? Couldn't find the answers? That's strange!
1- Igloos are houses made with ice-blocks or snow usually made by Inuits in the colder regions of Canada and most of Greenland..
2-12X12= 144
3-Kampala, is the capital of Uganda
4- Kalinga War prompted Asoka to turn to Buddhism and a much peaceful life
5- Never really been to Niagra Falls
6-Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS) are 12 in number, namely- Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Russia, Moldova, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Ukraine.
7.Opperculum in this context, is the covering on the gills of a fish
8.I don't really think you wanna know about the new kid, do you ;)
9- There is a huge list of mountains.. Here's the link- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mountains#Europe

@TheMe- Ah..now that's such a tragedy, Dear Me! :)