Tuesday, January 31, 2012

What I should have done, and what I did.

Ironically, the moment I started writing this post, my playlist reached Lenka's "Trouble is a  friend". Ah this is one very embarrassing memory that I need to get over with. I hear confessions are a great way to feel less of a doofus. The worst part being, when the memory pokes you just when you've sat down with a cup of coffee, your maths book, a pen, a worn out fat notebook, a determined mind- finally all set to start studying for the last exams of your school life- understandably, they are super important.
 But nooooooooooooooooo. Considering the mental discipline that I have (which, at times can be appallingly low) I HAD to HAD TO think about the one thing I never want to think about.

As Forrest Gump would say, this part of my life is called "making a fool of yourself".

So when the  super cute cousin of your friend shows up. What you should always do is, smile and act polite.
What I did do is- Think- Oh crap, he's cute. Let's ignore him. Which I did.

When he politely greets you in his adorable American accent, what you should do is keep calm, try not to blush, greet him back, and smile warmly.
What I did do is- curtly - "Yeah, Hi." Smiled as if I was getting a tooth extracted and returned to being aloof.

When the friend and her brother start talking what you should do is- avoid the awkwardness and join in whenever acceptable.
What I did do is stare out the window and think of all the squares and cubes till 30 to avoid blushing.

If a moment comes when you're drawn to the conversation, and you randomly mention football- Lets take it that the guy is a gentleman, doesn't appear spooked, and joins in..but instead talks of "soccer"- you should accept that it means the same thing and you need not berate every second person who calls football "soccer".
What I did do is- "It's not soccer, it's football." with the most polished English that I could muster.
While all I could think was, "Hey! You talk well, seem to have an idea about football. Which is SUCH a relief from my general crowd of people. You're not the predictable ManU fan! You like Chelsea! That's good.I would love to have a conversation with you!"

Squeezed your eyes tight shut yet? There's more.

When your friend casually asks you what you're going to do when you get home, you can reply in a general manner.
What I did say is- "Calculus.. probably"... which was TRUE. I was getting shit marks in my Maths units, and I needed to get higher in the coming exams..thus, I was working on it like a donkey.
But that's not all.
When the polite cousin asks "What are you gonna do in Calculus?"
What you should reply with is a general statement broadly covering some topics..
What I did say is(snottily)- "Advanced Calculus" The name of the book I was practising from. There is nothing REMOTELY advanced in that book. It's the dumbest Calculus book on the planet. It's like Jersey Shore of Calculus.

And the polite cousin trails off, "Advanced calculus huh.........."

And as the car speeds on the flyover, you frown at the window trying to figure what it means. You go home, and as your luck is the most wonderful on the planet- It turns out the guy is pursuing engineering at some  Ivy League university, on a majority scholarship. Ofcourse he had to be good in maths and science. And ofcourse he knows advanced calculus.

And then you know there's something wrong with you and you try to avoid him altogether till his stay in India because every time you see his face you remember what you should have done and what you did actually do. Utter sadness if you ask me.

But when your best friend and you somehow end up talking about him, what you should say is what you feel. Which in my case was-
"I liked him! He's cute, hot, an absolute gentlemen and a wonderful guy. And I acted like a complete stuck up bitch" 

But what I ended up saying is "Urgh. Yeah him..I didn't like him..he's whatever. SO! Remember that poem I blahblahblah," When in my head all I can think is, I wish I'd been myself.

And not surprisingly, the next time you come across him, he avoids you as much as he can.

But its okay. Life has a cute way of showing you your foolish side at times.

I've never said it, but I've come to love these guys too much :) Sonal, Vanta and Me in "Put your hands up, sexy!" pose...I have the best friends on the planet, don't I?

Much love.


NG said...


PS : Don't be too sure about what he thought about you, okay?

nil said...


Baba Vaniteshwar said...


And we love you too :]

Aneesh said...

i dont mean to be critical but werent u 'yourself' during the entire thing??

Remya said...

@Nikhil- I'll try not to., But assumption is my middle name.. Oh and what is up with your blogging man! What you been upto?

@Nil- Er. Yeah.

@Babaji- Give me more adorable smileys and I'll do an entire post with your name plastered on it :)

@Aneesh- Dude! Wazaaaaaaaaa! Nope, wasn't myself through the whole thing... Surprised you thought so. See, there are times when you realize that you cant really know a person too well..

Dodo said...

That is so 'REMYA' in so many ways.. :P

To toh bahut funny hai yaar.. :P \m/

YES! Chelsea fan, hard to find.

thinking123 said...

This is the story of every crush I've ever had!

Aneesh said...

Thats totally u....extremely uncomfortable around people u like

Remya said...

@Vee- Hahahaaaaa, thank you, love. Main zooper star da funnypan :P

@Thinking123- Hey! The paranoid coolster! Welcome to my blog :)

@Aneesh- Arrey baba though I wouldn't agree to that statement, but aapko jo samajhna hai samajh lo..