Saturday, October 15, 2011

Inventing Shadows

Now life has always been a delightful source of fateful incidents- extraneous ones..and then the ones that leave you dumbfounded. Do they provide you with substantial entertainment? I'd say..... "yes, in moments when you have absolutely nothing to do."

And trust me, out of personal experience, I declare that these moments come, no matter what kind of a loner or busybee social community you belong to (more so in case of the latter).
I'll start with a simple incident- I used to have a habit of saving up unusual phone numbers to my phone book. Nobody in particular, actually. If I'm sitting, and a random collection of numbers hit me, I'd scribble them down, add a 9 here, 8 there, 5 to that, 1 to this, and I'd form a phone number out of it. Yes, a rather strange hobby.

Anyway, I remember saving a particular one with loads of 9's, two 7's and a zero, years ago under Unknown6. Approximately three years back, I received a call from this unknown 6... Turns out, it was the newly purchased number of a friend who was to become a very important part of my life after that.

 I remember being petrified when Unknown 6 flashed in the caller id " Oh my god, did I accidentally hit call on this number?" I kept on wondering, when I finally attended the call and Rohan's voice blared out from the other end ,"Hey loser, save this up, its my new number"
I was obviously tongue tied, and blown beyond belief.
"Uh..okay." I managed.
"Everything alright? I just called you a loser, you egomaniac!" He shouted back through sonorous shouts in the background. "Anyway, listen man, I have to get back to the game, we're leading cool is that?! I'll come by later!" And he cut off the call.

That was one example, of just how random fate can get.
I have a million other examples, but right now, it's not fate we'll discuss, it's inventing shadows.

Lately, I've had a couple of incidents when I see a certain person that I know, at the most unpredictable places (NOWHERE perverted, thank you.), and when I ask them about it, they flatly deny any knowledge. Now the alternative theories I've hit upon is- either I'm hallucinating, and it's high time somebody makes a movie on me like "A Beautiful Mind" (Mine will be called a A SuperFantastic Awesome Mind) OR they're lying, OR I can simply trust them blindly, accept their version and save myself the trouble of digging deeper.

I saw a friend (lets call him A) who wasn't supposed to be seen at the place that I saw him at primarily because I do not want to meet him, and he fully well knew that I'd show up there .

 If this is not making sense, then go watch ShinChan on the T.V because I'm not getting any more specific than this.

 Now when asked, he flatly refused to have been present there. That was 2 days back.
Yesterday,  my math teacher who recently got engaged and spends HOURS on the phone ( His fiance calls him ALL THE TIME even when he's taking a cal class I mean seriously, fellow female!? Have some mercy on me! I need full adult attention during Calculus hours considering my 1000 questions.) informed me that he'd be there at 6:45 sharp.
So since I was down with viral, I felt extremely weak, but as it's maths, I decided not to cancel the class.  I got up at 6:30, went out to the balcony with my coffee, when I thought that I saw him standing in the road right infront of my house, talking on the phone. I went back in, waited till 6:50.. expecting him to ring the bell any moment, and when he didn't, I went out to check, and he wasnt there anymore.
A little later, I got a call from him saying that he was stuck in traffic.

Really, how much traffic is there in 10 steps, is something I cant figure.
My mother, consoled me with the fact that maybe I saw the wrong person, and there was no need to get so hyper about him being late (I have a zero tolerance zone for people who cant be punctual). Anyway, I protested, told her that I had a very strong feeling that it had been him, and he was wearing a red tee.

But, owing to my previous day's mishap with A, I thought maybe I was wrong. But guess, what when 10 minutes later, my teacher paraded inside in a red tee, I had a slight feeling that maybe, its not always me who is wrong.

Let's fast fwd to today morning. Simi, a family friend landed in at 12 in the afternoon and decided to take me out for a random chill out as I hadn't been out with her for the longest time. I still felt weak, so I protested, but she insisted brutally, and 20 minutes later, a very clean and presentable form of me walked down to the market in front of her house and settled in McDonalds . Right about that time, I felt like I saw B's ex (B is a very dear friend of mine )and B's best friend walk down the road.
I put my head on my hand,
1- if it was true, then there was something wrong, because these two never even spoke to each other in his absence..
2- In the slight flash, that I'd seen them in, they were holding hands.

I texted the ex, and asked her where she was and how she is. She replied back saying that she was home, with her dog.
I sat for a while, but again the unsure feeling kicked  in, I decided to shut it all, walk out and make sure if it was them. If it was- well.....

It did turn out to be them, and they were holding hands. When they saw me, they looked visibly embarrassed, tried to unlink their arms, said hi in a clumsy manner. The ex stuttered with her excuses, I shrugged my shoulders and walked away- obviously getting the message behind the whole scene.
Considering that B, a lovable human being, is currently suffering from cancer and is being operated in the United States, I had a hard time walking away without slapping both of them.

Infact, I had spoken to B yesterday, telling him all these strange happenings (before his ex and best friend scene took place) and conveying how every time I felt like I saw someone, they themselves would deny it, or the person with me would always tell me that I'm mistaken. And how it seemed like my refusal to believe them was an indication of my own lack of trust.

"I had a thought.. I'm inventing shadows, and believing in them" I told him off handedly.
 And he'd  replied, "Listen, Remya, my parents fight everyday, blaming my cancer on each other. They were supposed to be the ones who would have made it easy for me, but they didn't. And I feel betrayed.

If my parents could betray me- then who says that those around you won't. Don't trust anybody till you see it for yourself."

"Thats paranoid..and faithless" I'd replied.
And he'd said, "Oh, that's what it is called."

And now I don't have the heart to tell him what I saw. If it's inventing shadows, then let it be.

And about A, I have a feeling that I'll just have to trust him with what he said. because there is a difference between all these people and him. He's been my friend for the past 3 years. And a jolly good one, at that.

It seems like I'll just have to create my own experiences about trust and betrayal.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i am glad u trusted A :)