Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Great Journey of Car, the car.

Once upon a time, there was a car named Car. His owner was an extremely intelligent, and creative girl.

The car Car was discovered by his owner- a legend in disguise, in a cardboard box named Bhojpuri Baxa. This name evolved for reasons only known to the deeply majestic and racist mind of Car's creative and legendary owner- Owner.
Owner took Car out and reveled at his existence. She believed that she had thrown him away years ago, but soon realized that only something as drawing as her immense beauty could have made Car survive all these years.
So, she ate a chocolate celebrating this discovery.
 Irrelevant.

Anyhow, she let Car out. Car was rather still at first, so she presumed he had died. She proceeded to dig him a grave, but suddenly she heard the familiar tune-
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 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! 
Aashiq Banaya Aashiq Banaya! AASHIQ BANAYA AAPNE!


Owner covered her ears in pain. UNBEARABLE! THE NASAL CANCER WAS BACK!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH.
Thus, Car's owner Owner, died.

Irrelevant.


Meanwhile. Car was freed. Car wondered and wondered what could he possible do with his independence? Should he hit Raj Thackeray? Or should he just fart?
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He decided to hit Raj Thackeray. Greater pleasure and more chances of media coverage.
Irrelevant.


However, one grave, eventful day, Car took a decision so serious.
He decided to run away from his current address- Owner's study table named Estudy. He had been imprisoned there for long, it was time to regain his independence, freedom... and... well, his magazines. Ahem.  After all, he was man with needs.

So thus began, a journey filled with great dangers.



He began speeding along the runway.... er,..the appointment diary of Owner.



He was a dashing young Car, so he smartly balanced himself on the edge of the appointment diary. He was rather pleased with himself and his clever ways. He decided that he'll kick everyone's ass during the next Noble Prize Ceremony. 





He zoomed past the conspicuous Mp3 player called Mother Diary and stuck his nose out. Just because this cheap peace of metal was younger and had a orange W emblazoned on it, didn't mean he had more class. After all, Car was truly the most intellectually superior being alive on the table- Estudy.




Car saw the fallen beer bottle, a chap named Lovely and zoomed past him as well. He had a tinge that something was not quite right about this beer bottle. But he was getting excited,.escaping the study table- Estudy was easier than Paris Hilton's brain structure! YAY!




However, Lovely was rather suspicious looking, he surveyed Car with hidden gravity. He peeked when Car wasn't looking and then-......... he did a little item number dance. 
Now we all know what's wrong with the beer bottle. He's a closet BALLERINA!




Car reached the lamp named Twinkle on the study table- Estudy. There were some disturbing looking earphones drooling at him. He didn't like it. Not one bit.
No way.
He was all moral and proper eh! The Eenglis way.
These headphones- the twin sisters named Right and Left were throwing himself all over him! 
"MY GOD, LADIES! There's just one of ME!" He said laughing and doing a little jig dance.




"OH! OH! OH! I'M LOSING MY BALANCE! LADIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!GIVE ME YOUR HAAAAAAAAANDS!"
Crap. Did he just say Hands??



However, Car was a brave little miniature wannabe chinese toy. He survived the 1cm fall and resumed his course. He didn't looking back at the earphones. They were traitors...they'd started drooling over the Beer Bottle. "OUTRAGEOUS!" He fumed.


OH! OH! He had reached the edge of  Estudy.,...right below him lay the never ending floor.
"BALANCE! BALANCE!" He remembered the wise words of his Chinese maker. But Car's mind wandered...
"My God...the amount of porn that chap used to watch...." Car mused. 
And that was his mistake! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS!


KABOOOM! KACHIK! BOOM! POW! KHATKHAT! ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! PHAT!


R.I.P. Car.


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ROLL THE CREDITS BABE!
Cue Music.
ACTION!

Directed by- Me Remya
Written by- Me Remya
Produced by- Me Remya
Editor-  Predator- Me Remya
Camera man woman- Remya
 
CAST (In the order of number of adopted kids)
Car the car
Owner the owner
Bhojpuri Baxa, the cardboard box
Estudy the study table
Lovely, the beer bottle
Mother Diary, the Mp3 player
Twinkle, the handicapped table lamp
Ladies, the earphones


5 comments:

NG said...

Beautiful narrative. Made my morning. :)

Baba Vaniteshwar said...

lolol

nil said...

I can't fucking believe you -.-

Mihir said...

haha. sweet. :)

Charu said...

Bwahaha...I'll be laughing for a week now :D What lines, what picture... wah wah!

My best compliments to the entire production crew, the director and everyone other brilliant person involved with this production.