Sunday, August 21, 2011

Sunday Morning Jazz

Yes, oh yes!
I'm in THAT mood.

My day till 9 in the morning went like this-

I got up at 4 in the morn to study, when I turned the lights of the dining room on- to tip toe to my study table in the opposite room, my mother yelled from her bedroom lovely profanities- "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? GO TO SLEEP! STOP WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!"

Lol. You don't need to tell me twice. Therefore, I went to sleep.
THEN- My bloody reminder rings at 7:50- "VANTA ON TV! VANTA ON TV! CHECK AT 8!"
So I dragged my bloody half sleepy ass, across the house and turned the television on. When it came to life, the bloody thing started blaring. I don't know who's the deaf one in my house, but the TV's always on loud when we switch it on. I need to find him/her.
So, the TV blares, then my parents, alarmed, run to the drawing room, see my stoshed on the sofa, yell some more lovely profanities and go back to bed.

At 9, my father and I sit down to breakfast.

Dad-" Have you even brushed your teeth?"
Me (suspiciously)- "Have you?"
Me-" Shall not."
Dad- "GO!"
Me-" SHAN'T!"
Dad ignored me and goes back to his paper and mutters how I'll be without teeth by the time I'm 20. I mutter back- "Shan't!"
Shall and shall not are two of my favorite words this month.
 So, then the conversation goes on after I think for a bit. I plot, contrive evil ways to get back at him.

"I have contacts." I declare.
"Huh?" My dad looks up from the paper.
"My close friend's sister is a reporter in HT, her dad is in PSU, another one's dad is in HUDCO, my rakhi brother's dad is in Press Relations, my best friend's dad is in the World Bank, I have a friend whose dad's a cop, my cousin's dad is in television,  my ex-awesome friend's dad is an IFS and my own dad is in the Government. So you beware."

I pause for a moment, widen my eyes for the scary effect, and purse my lips with a horror look on my face that says, 'Now you wait and watch.'

Then I start laughing like a maniac.
And poke my dad and keep on repeating how he should laugh too.
He ignores me.

Then I ask exasperatedly why he doesn't laugh at my superawesome jokes. He tells me he'll laugh at good jokes, not my irritating, senseless statements.
So I stalk off the dining room, and sulk for a long time. Throw him annoyed looks while he goes for his regular work early morning, I'm still plotting and contriving ways to get back at him.

Just when I started writing my amazing blog, with my amazing brains, Dad's phone bill got delivered.
Sweet old phone bill revenge.
PS- Its huge.
PPS- Vanta and Gaddafi are coming over. I shall not open the door. They shall stay out.
PPPS- My message card died, so those to whom I've not been replying can chill with the sentimental shit.
PPPPS- My fb friendlist is jobless, I checked it at 12 last night and I checked it at 8 in the morn, and I had 26 notifications. It doesn't even happen two days combined.
Strange people.
I shall go now.


The Nomad said...

you have no life :*


ANDDDDDD I WAS ON TV(lame show tho :P)

Ifra Khaliq said...

You're genius! :P * I m flATTERING*


Remya said...

@Vantz- Despite your criticisms, I still hold gay love for you :)

@Ifra- Ignoring the fact that your name is abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous, thank you :)