Monday, June 27, 2011

scoot, man!

Good morning, world :)
Its 7 a.m. Yes, its not normal.
I'm NEVER awake at 7 a.m. on a holiday. But then, I decided to pull an all nighter because I was way due on my math and legal reasoning homework.. This particular dedicated study period was interspersed with visits to facebook, gmail, gtalk, texting, calling etc. Do you have ANY idea how much fun it is to call people up 4 in the morning? ^_^
So, dad came in at 6, groggily knocked on my door, asked me in disbelief why exactly was it that I was awake. I reassured him that I was still the same and would never get up early morning to study- "it was an all nighter, dad, chill"
So he asked me to get dressed as we were about to leave for our scooty class. And I went "wtf" with the long face.

Prologue- My dad believes that before any human being learns to drive a car, he/she should learn to ride a scooty first.Thereby pissing me off as I'm shit when it comes down to scooty and car is something that I learnt to drive when I was 13.
Now- I put on a tattered tee that said "I'm not happy" and went for the lesson.
We reached the practice area,  and he let me take the front seat. Brace yourself. I, as usual, held the handle as if I was doing weights, My veins were literally jumping out of my arms, my face solely concentrated to the front- Yes, I was giving birth.

BULLSHAT. I was riding a frikking scooty. I have no clue why I get so tensed. Maybe its because it weighs 5 times more than me. But then I find Undertaker cute, so what the hell?

Then he got off it, for my solo practice, I eased a little. See, when you know you're about to die, its easier when its just you.Why take your father along with you?
DIE? BULLSHAT? I dont go beyond 15, man. ITS INSULTING.

So, on solo, for some reason, I became macho and hit 40. And while I went WOO-HOO! A frikking cow came out of nowhere making me brake my ass off, I thought they would come off (the brakes, not my ass. Jeez!), and I stopped an inch away from its face.
It chewed, looked at me, chewed, looked at me again, chewed and THEN FINALLY moved its ass.

Dad laughed, said that I had faced the biggest challenge of Indian roads, so there maybe a slight chance of me getting a two-wheeler license.
I didn't find it funny.

Then, when we finished and dad was back at the passenger seat again, I met a family friend who looked at me, smiled, and raised his eyebrows.
He came to me with several remarks "You might wanna ease up there on the handles, tiger, or they'll come off while you're riding.And what? you got crow feet? Don't sit like a wrestler, its just a scooty"
I made a face and asked him when exactly he was planning to return to Chicago as I didn't like him here in New Delhi. He laughed and went away. Jackasses, man.

And then, while I was riding to the exit, I stopped and asked dad to take over the handles and he went, "Nah, cheenu, you ride back home."
"Hello? What?"
"Ride back home."
"All the way?"
"Yes, why would you stop in the middle?"

Now, see. My house was 15 blocks away, for someone who'd just learnt to turn in a proper manner without shivering, I found it impossible to get back via main road without suffering a brain hemorrhage in a road accident.
I expressed my views, he asked me to "keep quiet and get going."
Annoying folks.

"No. Are you sure? You might die."
"I'll die if you dont keep your eyes on the road." Now go.

So I rode.
ALL THE WAY BACK. Accident free.
Oh, except that one time when I kept the indicator on for 3 minutes. I dunno why, I didn't figure I needed to shut it off. Dad kept on asking me, "Isn't there something wrong? Can you figure whats wrong right now with your driving?"
And I was like, "N-UH, DAD, I'm awesome. Period."
But then, I figured because a passing pedestrian gave me a thoroughly irritated look, a kid in a cycle went "DUUUUDE!" at me, and finally, dad had to give in and tell me exactly what mistake I was making.

Stupid indicators.
And why the hell were these people up at 6 in the morn? I mean, dont you have a frikking life?"

You know, on the brighter side, there might actually be a chance of me finally getting a license.

PS- Vanita Ganesh, your fiction was Bomb..polish it a bit though.. but it was BOMB.
Hey world? Have a SUPER BRIGHT day :)


Vaniteshwar said...

my dad is refusing to teach me how to ride a bike..muttered something about me killing every person on the road ;(

and thankyou :)

Ruhani said...

Have I told you how much I love reading your posts? HAVE I?

Remya said...

@Jane- your father has a very valid point, lowe :*

@Ruhani- No, you haven't.But you just did so that's awesome ;D