Saturday, February 19, 2011

She wants to speak

Dedicated to Raya,
she knows who she is

She tries to speak, stutters.
Stop.

Tries again, It's almost out,
oh! the effort it takes for her to get out with what hangs
by a thread from the tip of her tongue,
she almost reaches the end- almost finished,
I wait patiently,
she's about to finish!.....a sudden stammer 
Stop.

The entire painful journey begins again, 
the warrior, she begins her travel through the difficult terrains
once again, cutting through the obstacles,
the millions of fullstops that she puts into one sentence,
the amount of energy, fight.
And I wonder how can a thing so natural to a human being,
be so difficult for another?

We all fight to express ourselves since
the moment we are born, 
that young frustration to make them comprehend 
the one prick in our mind, the one desire of our soul,
Us, mostly all of us, fought it through,
but she? Her fight goes on.. and on,, and on.

She's the winner, for, in all her troubles, she laughs with delight,
enjoys the sun like none of us would have,
fights her brother, and loves him equally, punches him
and hugs him with greater emotions,
she smiles- warming my soul. Her eyes- those almond  pretty
 pretty eyes lines with kohl, scrunch up in an attempt to speak,
the muscles of her face lose control,
contort, trying to do the work of her mouth, 
trying to convey everything for her.

But why? Why is she so scared to face the world?
Why does she stutter when she wants to shout?
Why does she stop when she wants to go on?
I ask her this, and she shrugs

The wheels of life are lined with dirt, you wipe
them with all your strength,
and they will catch dirt again,
all you can do is wipe,
all you can do is go on, fight and hope
with all your strength that it stays clean and runs smooth.

And once again, she starts to explain to me,
what is it that happened to her a few days back, 
she starts..........stutters.
Stop.
"I..I.....uh..uh..I...I.."
I wait, patiently 
for the winner, the warrior to speak. 



2 comments:

Vanita said...

damn this is good!

nil said...

I really hope she reads this :-)