Saturday, December 18, 2010

oooo, RATS!

So. I just had a very strange last hour in which I got bit by rats, got fussed over, driven halfway around delhi, and then got a tetanus done. Nice spoilers? Read on.

So, it all started in the Ayyappa Temple where I was being awesome.
Last word irrelevant.
Anyway, apparently my folks had kept a special puja for my sister (Dunno why they try, she'll always remain Nerdy and annoyingly Saintly irrespective of ANY special puja) and I had to attend it.
So while sitting through the bhajans, I was developing this strange "head banging" mood for some damn reason.
My hands were behind me and I was sitting the way I'd sit in a beach- And that's when a rat bit me out of NO-freaking-WHERE.
At first I thought it was the old toothless woman sitting behind me (we have a case of bad history- she had tweaked my ears when I was 5. I never stopped looking at her with suspicious eyes after that.)
So anyway, I thought it was her. After a real real BAD painful bite the third time, I yelped and jumped to find blood squirting out of my thumb. (Yes Anish, the SAW- style blood spurt that you drool on.)

Anyways, so er..It kinda freaked my mum out who was sitting nearby (Later she told me that she thought that I'd bitten my own finger.
Now, that's just PLAIN weird.)

And the aunty next to her and the one next to her, and the one next to her and so on.
So basically, within a time span of 2 minutes, the entire temple was bending over my tiny thumb while the Bhajan people relentlessly raised their voice in the hope of regaining their audience, and the toothless old woman squeezed the blood out of my finger to stop the poison from spreading.

I was being awesomely intrepid about it.

Not the same for my parents though.
The conversation between my dad and mum in the car while they drove me to the hospital;

Dad (harried): A rat bit her?! A rat bit her?! Why would a rat bite her?!
Mum: Why?! Why can't a rat bite her??"
Dad: "But why HER?!"
Mum: "WHY?! Isn't she ratbite-worthy?" (Me- WTF?!)
Dad: "Not at all! I'm not saying it can't!? But it is very peculiar to hear, don't you think?"
Mum: "WHAT?!"
Dad: "Nothing, honey. Which hospital?"

So we dashed around trying to find a hospital and my dad kept on muttering about the weirdness of the whole situation and how if we went to ANY hospital in such a state of mind, the hospital will ask me to get admitted in light of the shock incurred. (Me- WHAT SHOCK?)
And throughout this, my mother was hyperventilating with the family doctor on the line- a poor soul who was out for vacation.
Oh, you ask where I was? In the backseat listening to Apocalypta's version of Nothing Else Matters.

So basically, acting on the advice of my doctor, dad swerved the car home, made me wash my hands and press dettol on it and then chilled.
Yes, chilled.

Both of them just sat. For a long time.

Then dad went, "Let's get you some tetanus."
Yeah- just like that- Just a "Let's get you some tetanus" as if it's lollipop.

So I jumped happily at the thought of injections, grabbed my coat and dashed out.. (Yeah did I ever mention? I like getting injections.. I feel superior every time I get done with it.)

So we reached the hospital, got sent into the Emergency Room, and the doctor there looked a classic, CLASSIC Malayali.
So anyway, I thanked God that he made my mum make me wear those classic mallu gold earrings this week that make me look like a SOLID malayali and introduced myself as "Hi, I'm Remya, I got bit by an annoying fat rat and I need a tetanus. And you look like a Malayali."
She laughed and shook my hand and told me that there was no need for introductions as she knew my dad already.

So my dad gave me this superior "This-time-I'm-awesomer-than-you" look and I sighed.
Then I started ranting on to the doctor about how I wouldn't even let her touch my butt or ANY other personal place for getting the tetanus done.
She laughed and went, "I guess, then I'll have to stick the injection onto your neck."
When she saw my creeped out look, she asked me to relax and assured that she won't go anywhere near my butt.
So that's settled.
I got my tetanus on the arm.
And now I'm extorting money out of parents citing the ratbite which is now practically invisible.
BUT- The Doc said that my arm's gonna hurt bad from tomorrow onwards. So I'm raping my parents wallet on that account.

Mum just asked me what I want for dinner.
I shouted back," something french. "
Dad snorted into his soup.
Mum asked him to stop laughing as he was going to get only green veggies today.
It was my turn to laugh.
So I laughed and went, "Oooo, Rats, dad!"
And then I laughed again at the irony.

Goodnight, world :)

10 comments:

Charu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Charu said...

Ummmm...is thrilling the right word?

Nice description by the way. And very brave too. Er, ratbite worthy? lol

Still, hope you get better quickly. And that the pain isn't too bad either.

Priyanka Banerjee said...

Oh hahahahahahaha :P
Sorry bout the rat bite :|
Just asking, have you discovered any hidden super powers after the rat bit you?

The Bald Guy said...

Rat bite worthy!

The Bald Guy said...

Get well soon little guy. And please take care!

The Bald Guy said...

Afterthought: The things parents have to put up with. Sigh.

Remya said...

@Charu: Oh..the pain escalates every freaking minute.. it's not even funny :/
Thanks for the wishes though. You'e awesome \m/

@Priyanka: Nah. I couldn't be more cooler than I already am. B-)

@Tbeej: Hehehehe. You make me feel evil ^_^
Thanks man, will try to!
Though I'm declaring a nationwide search for ALL rats and their IMMEDIATE elimination. :|

SOUMYA said...

ok guyz you know my 1st thought when i heard this news....
Oh my god, the poor rat!!! ;D
you know i was more worried about the pain which it might be going through after it had bitten you.
damn sure he must have been thrown out of his clan and isolated!!

the poor poor RAT!!

Remya said...

@Annoying Sister- Haha. Funny.
Dying of laughter.
Not.

mia999 said...

Are you okay??? Does your arm still hurt????

I LOVED your parents conversation.