How the heart broke.

You sat in a corner without even looking up. You hardly bothered, least interested. And there was something so mysterious about you. So secretive. You hardly seemed like someone who opened his mouth. I took you to be arrogant. Plain arrogant. When our eyes met...mine huge and yours?...They were black, jet black and warm. Your dark hair dishivelled. But I hardly cared. Infact..they looked sort of attractive. The shabby in you looked good.And I always hated shabby guys. Whew...what was with me?
And your eyes..they were hypnotic.
What was it with you? I wondered.

But your eyes went back to the glare of your laptop.
I wished you would look up again, but you didn't. You appeared to be busy. Your hands typing in a frenzy. I wondered what you were doing. Facebook? Myspace? Chatting? Or Blogging?
I knew your name so I decided to check you out on the internet. There you were. As I had hoped. Your image staring back at me from the monitor. Your eyes. Mesmerising. Yes, mesmerising was the word.
I met you again..not you, your family. But you never bothered to glance. Never bothered to look up. Still buried. By this time, I was irritated. You're not nice. At all. I decided to myself. No point even wasting time thinking about him. My mind resolved.
Don't take me wrong...you weren't a crush, no infatuation, no teenager fantasy. You were just a mystery.
Everything about you spoke of class, knowledge. Even my irritation couldn't keep me away from your words. Your arrogance was as admirable as much as it was repulsive. You were something so rare.Something so enchanting...so unique.
But the next time, you spoke. And I devoured your voice. Beautiful. My mind thought. It was husky..nothing powerful--very exact, precise, so humble, so correct. Your every syllable screamed intelligence. And for a change, you were speaking to me. You didn't look smug. You didn't look superior. You were correcting something I had said. Correcting with so much simplicity and precision that I was awestruck.I was glad that for the first time my facts were wrong.
A joyous balloon was swelling inside my stomach and my blood thudding against my veins, something in my ears was bellowing..
"Yes,!!!! he heard what I said..he's actually paying attention to what I'm saying."
I matter.
My mind said to me repetitively.
I do matter to him.
I had thought of myself something inconsequential,and tiny to you.
The scene kept replaying in my mind again and again. Even the next time I met you...I smiled when my mind replayed the scene. But I didn't betray the delight I experienced at seeing your face. There was knot in my stomach at seeing your jet black eyes lighten up at my sight. I looked behind me.
Someone else coming? I wondered. I wasn't ready to accept the fact that you were so glad to see me.
"Hi!" you remarked, "How are you?!"
I stuttered. I had prepared for a strong, feminist entry. Nothing to show my admiration of you.
I opened my mouth searching the deepest corners of my mind for something witty..something impressive..Nothing..
Just a..."I'm fine."
I spoke in a small voice.
Your brows furrowed.
"You're okay?"
You asked.
There was a huge bulge in my throat..I couldn't speak. My throat dried out. Wow...never in my entire life had I felt so over-whelmed. Never in a debate, never in a competition, nor an international conference. But you?
Oh no...you were an enigma.

I nodded with difficulty.I think I was having a mild concussion at the time.
"Er..." you hesitated probably freaked out with my reaction."Why don't you come in?"You asked, "Mom is gone out for the moment to the market...she'll come in some time."

My heart skipped a beat. No way...No way sitting anywhere around you. You were too good, too nice, too tempting..too intelligent. I felt small around you. I wasn't good enough to sit anywhere near you.You, Mr. , were a problem. A Big Problem. You were an addiction. And you needed to be avoided.

"No."
I muttered brusquely.
You seemed taken aback with my formality. I hated the hurt that sprung up in your eyes. Now, the black eyes were guarded. They didn't seem friendly anymore...They seemed suspicious.
Great.
All those months that I spent trying to portray my best infront of you. My best side. Everything that could make you trust me. All the dreaded moments of spending apprehensive heart-beats near you..sitting a foot away from the couch which you always occupied. All those moments gone with just a single "No".

What the hell?
I hated myself for this.
This was so wrong..what I actually wanted to do was to go everywhere with you. Share moments and memories with you. However inconsequential they might seem to be. I wanted to be with you.
Just with you.
And your eyebrows went up as you said..your voice lifeless.."Good, then I'll tell mom you came."
Your jet black eyes marble cold.
And you slammed the door on my face.
And I?
I crumpled on your doorstep.
______________

And I heard her sob.